The Ability To Speak Doesn’t Make You Intelligent

Over the weekend, my 14-year-old was venting to me about how one of her friends had done her wrong and messed something up. Her feelings were hurt and she was feeling a little scornful. So she mouthed off.

I like to listen and give her space to do that, but I told her I thought she needed to take the necessary time to understand why she and her friend were at odds. Both of them had been quick to speak and slow to listen.

I wish I could say I don’t struggle with this, but I’m paid to struggle with it. That’s because I do TV news commentary and punditry.

A Disconnect in My Words and Deeds

Everything I might teach my own child about being careful with your words and slow to speak is exactly what I can’t do when performing my craft. The financial incentive in news media is to blab indiscriminately and get feisty.

TV producers want you to speak and speak often. They don’t book wallflowers for political segments. So you must come up with something to say, even if it doesn’t need saying. This stew is rather toxic. After doing lots of TV for about seven years, I’ve found myself becoming looser with what I say in casual conversation with friends and family.

That is not always appreciated.

The TV people want me to speak up—why doesn’t everyone else?

When my daughter was little, she called TV news “the talking people.” If I was going on TV, she’d say, “Have fun with the talking people, Daddddddy.”

That is what we do. Talk, talk, talk. No listening.

At home, I live differently and try to instill the opposite message—and I totally stole one of my favorite mantras from Star Wars.

Speaking in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent,” says Qui-Gon Jinn to one Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

When the Jedi first meet Jar Jar Binks in the swamps of Naboo, Jar Jar is basically standing in the way of traffic, about to get run over by incoming military vehicles. Qui-Gon and Jar Jar collide, and the Jedi pins the blathering Gungan to the ground until the danger has passed.

Qui-Gon is not pleased. “What are you, brainless?” he asks, rather harshly.

Jar Jar answers, “I speak,” as if this answers the Jedi’s question.

Qui-Gon responds with the quip above and it’s quite fitting… because later on, Jar Jar will get his actual tongue snatched by Qui-Gon Jinn at the dinner table for being rude.

Every day, we should ask ourselves if what we’re saying to others is truly worth saying. Are we speaking to add value for the recipient, or are we speaking to assuage the voice of ego deep inside that is convinced our every word is wise and interesting?

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” - James 1:19

Maybe Just Save That As a Draft, or Delete It

How many social media posts have you fired off this week? Take a moment to tally them up—Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, maybe even Reddit. What message were you trying to send out into the digital void? And how many posts did you type out, only to delete before the final moment of reckoning, realizing the dangers of pressing "Post"?

I know I’ve scrapped a few in recent days, though plenty of others made it through—some of which I regretted almost instantly.

Why did I feel the need to say that?

Why do a handful of likes and a couple of comments hold such power over me, driving me to broadcast every fleeting thought as if I’m possessed by some unseen force?

You don’t have to do this.

Once upon a time, I had no problems with verbally popping off. I barely spoke at all when I first entered the workforce. But then an old boss of mine got angry with the whole staff during a morning meeting because the brainstorming sessions were too quiet.

No one was speaking up. He reminded us all that we’re paid to speak up and share our thoughts. So people started speaking. The problem, of course, was that the most obtuse individuals were doing almost all of the talking. The egomaniacs and brown-nosers knew the incentive structure was to make sounds with their faces, even if it was corporate drivel and buzzword salad.

NOTICE ME! NOTICE ME! I READ THE COMPANY MANUAL!

This balancing act is delicate.

We need to reject fear and speak up at workplace meetings, but we don’t want to slip into speaking for its own sake.

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.

Say this to yourself every now and then. Maybe it’ll help you discern which words on the tip of your tongue are worth pushing out.

Our political system elevates talkers. Have you noticed? It’s getting wild.

Perhaps, we could try and remember politicians like Roman Senator Cato the Younger, who in the late Roman Republic developed a reputation for both fiery speech and deadly silence. When he spoke, people listened. When he was quiet, people wanted to know why.

“Cato practiced the kind of public speech capable of moving the masses, believing proper political philosophy takes care like any great city to maintain the warlike element. But he was never seen practicing in front of others, and no one ever heard him rehearse a speech. When he was told that people blamed him for his silence, he replied, ‘Better they not blame my life. I begin to speak only when I’m certain what I’ll say isn’t better left unsaid.’” - Plutarch on Cato the Younger

I am renewing my efforts to live by these words and be more choosy with my words. Will you join me?