99 Comments
⭠ Return to thread

*applauds*

Thank you thank YOU Adam for writing this! I used to defend my parents for their 'discipline' because of how 'difficult' of a child I was. It took decades for me to get it through my thick skull that it was abuse, and always will be. The last time my father ever spanked me (without explaining why of course, as always) was when I vowed to never be like him. My parents and their unresolved issues are the reasons that I'm in therapy and have the issues I do.

Oh, to think of who I'd've been had they been patient and compassionate...

Expand full comment

Right... and from your description, you dad spanked in anger and without regard.

Thats abuse.

Fire can destroy or it can warm. But fire is still fire, depends who controls it.

Expand full comment

Thank you for acknowledging what I went through. I like what you're saying about fire; it's too true. I've still got both fires within me, though.

Expand full comment

We all do.

Like an old native proverb says: the wolf you feed is the wolf that will win.

Same with the fire. The fire you feed is the fire that will >usually< win.

I had a mother that avoided discipline because she grew up like you. My father didnt, and didn't avoid discipline - we all had respect for him.

I am now asking my Dad to teach me, because I don't want to repeat my mother (though I love her dearly!).

Expand full comment