It was one of these moments in life where you realize, "Oh… this is how my parents felt when I was the kid." This post is going to be a little more personal for me because, well, frankly, we’ve been going through some heavy changes in the Papola household.
This is a really solid list, and we've done a pretty good job with our 14- and 16-year-olds. I'll challenge #9 - 'You are capable of taking care of yourself.' That may seem reasonable in the Western world in 2025, but throughout history, humans were much more interdependent, and much has been written about how unhealthy it is that our material wealth affords us extreme independence.
Thanks, Emma. I agree with the pushback on atomic independence. Being alone is generally fragile and miserable. But, there is a certain core of independence and resilience that you must have to fully be an adult, and especially as a man (in general). But again, atomization has not been good for us. No question.
I read #9 from a different lens. Being capable of taking care of yourself, to me is a very broad and important subject. Granted I am very old company to you all! My youngest is 42.
For the very young, it encompasses hygiene, dressing oneself, taking care of possessions (putting toys and clothes away with care). Economics is a lesson that creeps in swiftly from an early age. The desire to join a sports team or take lessons, or attend a camp, can add to financial stress for parents that they are reluctant to address with very young children. My own experience, as a single Mom was to shield my kinds from the financial stress I was under. They felt it but did not really learn as much from it as I think they may have, if I was more emotionally secure in knowing I was doing my best.
I think the basics of values of both economics and experiences are important to blend into learning. (Way before they ask you to co-sign on a lease for them and a “few friends” none of whom can afford rent.)
This is a really solid list, and we've done a pretty good job with our 14- and 16-year-olds. I'll challenge #9 - 'You are capable of taking care of yourself.' That may seem reasonable in the Western world in 2025, but throughout history, humans were much more interdependent, and much has been written about how unhealthy it is that our material wealth affords us extreme independence.
Thanks, Emma. I agree with the pushback on atomic independence. Being alone is generally fragile and miserable. But, there is a certain core of independence and resilience that you must have to fully be an adult, and especially as a man (in general). But again, atomization has not been good for us. No question.
I read #9 from a different lens. Being capable of taking care of yourself, to me is a very broad and important subject. Granted I am very old company to you all! My youngest is 42.
For the very young, it encompasses hygiene, dressing oneself, taking care of possessions (putting toys and clothes away with care). Economics is a lesson that creeps in swiftly from an early age. The desire to join a sports team or take lessons, or attend a camp, can add to financial stress for parents that they are reluctant to address with very young children. My own experience, as a single Mom was to shield my kinds from the financial stress I was under. They felt it but did not really learn as much from it as I think they may have, if I was more emotionally secure in knowing I was doing my best.
I think the basics of values of both economics and experiences are important to blend into learning. (Way before they ask you to co-sign on a lease for them and a “few friends” none of whom can afford rent.)